Old flames tend to pop into our heads when we’re single, bored in our current relationship or because we’ve really never gotten over them. Are they still as cute? Would all those intense feelings come rushing back if you were to look into each others’ eyes, or would you remember the time when you wanted to draw on their face with a tattoo needle while they slept?
When it comes to reigniting an old flame through Facebook there are some considerations to make. I imagine many an affair has started due to this handy social networking tool. But if you’re single and willing to give it a whirl here is some food for thought.
That was Then, This is Now
Like a drug, lustful thoughts we once felt about a person can come roaring back as we recapture “visceral feelings of being young and in love”. But that was then and this is now. If it’s been decades since you last saw each other, you have probably undergone many of your own experiences. Experiences that you haven’t shared can make you very different from who you were then, and chances are, you’ve probably grown apart. For all you know they had a criminal record, and have yet to receive any Canadian pardons.
Remember Why You Broke Up
Memories can be deceiving and our brains have this brilliant way of remembering the good times and forgetting the bad. But in order to make the most educated decision about this step you’re considering taking, I highly suggest you list out things you liked about the person and the relationship and factors that caused you not to stay together in the end.
Feelings Aren’t Always Mutual
Let’s say you find your old love, they add you but aren’t really as responsive as you would have hoped. Are you prepared to deal with the rejection/disinterest? The best thing you can do for yourself is to not set yourself up for disappointment and that means keeping those expectations under control. It’s silly to say don’t have expectations, because that would mean don’t think about it all, which is clearly impossible. But don’t rush out looking for diamond earrings on sale just yet. Love can make us quite unreasonable so you have to make an effort to keep yourself grounded. That means not Facebook stalking your crush, and if it seems like they don’t have much interest delete them or at the very least hide them from your news feed.
You never know how things will turn out so I’m always one for taking chances. Just make sure you’ve considered these three things before taking the plunge.
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