Less than a decade ago, trying to find a date online was considered pretty taboo, the last resort one would rather not talk about. I remember creating my first online dating account, ashamed and embarrassed that I couldn’t just meet someone in a “real” “normal” setting like at one of the concerts in Montreal I was attending. (I’m a big music fan…) The whole idea of having to put myself out there on the World Wide Web seemed gargantuan, desperate. I was an attractive, smart, funny woman, what did I need the Internet for? Maybe I was happy being single…
Sure, being single has its upside, but we can all agree that when singlehood actually translates to “nothing doing”, it can get pretty lonely. So, I bit the bullet and went through with it. I created my first account on a site called Lavalife. That first account did not do so well. I didn’t include any pictures, I wasn’t really sure what to say about myself. I still wasn’t very sure about the whole idea so I essentially used my account in order to trawl the profiles of other singles in my area.
I ended up subscribing to some other sites along the way including Friendfinder and Plentyoffish (which is free by the way) and with a little practice and confidence I began getting emails from some very interesting and handsome prospects and soon enough I was a woman back on the dating scene. If you have just joined a dating site or are looking for some tips to help make your profile more alluring, here are some key insider tips to help increase your online dating success.
S-p-e-l-l y-o-u-r w-o-r-d-s and use complete sentences
There is nothing more annoying than someone who abbreviates all their words to the point where “and” becomes “n”. You’re trying to sell yourself here so you don’t want to come across as uneducated. Most serious guys want a girl that can spell (it shows she makes an effort, and has a brain). Proofreading is a must.
Be honest
I’ve gotten tons of great feedback for having an open and honest profile. It shows you know yourself and you’re not afraid to disclose. Though many women may feel inclined to do so, don’t lie about your height or age. Not only can it lead to disappointment when that person meets you but they can also clearly see you lied. Not looking as good as your pictures may suggest… that you could MAYBE waver.
Be cool. Be forward.
The great thing about online dating is that you can actually step out of your comfort zone, have a clean slate with someone who doesn’t know you and come across as cool, calm and collected. Don’t always wait for people to contact you, contact them too. Online dating sites will most likely have features like the “smiley face” or “wink”, but nothing really beats a personal message. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, introduce yourself and say what attracted you to the person’s profile. Maybe make a reference to something they mentioned in their profile. Also, say something in the subtitle of your message that will catch his eye. Stand out from the crowd in some way.
Use humour
If you can make a someone smile you’re almost sure to get a conversation going, but be choosy with your sense of humour. Funny stupid or funny dopy = unappealing. There’s nothing more sexy than a girl who knows how to be funny witty, funny ironic with a touch of funny goofy.
Ask questions
Be interested to find out more, but don’t go overboard with personal details that will scare them off.
Choose your moments wisely
Don’t ask him out in the first conversation. Make him sweat a little and make sure you are confident that the guy wants to meet you too.
Share information about yourself
Include what you’re all about in your profile, so to you attract the right kind of guy. If you’re outdoorsy, include pictures of you kayaking, hiking etc… If fashion is your passion, mention your profound love for your perfect fitting Rock Revival Jeans.The more you offer, the more likely the person is to do the same. You may hear lots of people saying to steer clear of subjects like politics or religion, however, in my view I would like to know a person’s views earlier on. Regardless of whether or not you share the same opinion you still want to know if they are flexible or if you can be.
Talk to lots of people
The whole point of this is for you to find your match(es) so you need to scope out the scene.
Learn how to handle rejection
You win some you lose some, it’s the name of the game, but learn to handle it gracefully and move on to the next. If you send a message and the person doesn’t respond- don’t write back more than one more time. A little persistence is good, but too much and you look like psycho.
Don’t respond if you don’t want to
Essentially, put your energy towards someone you are genuinely interested in
Date lots of people
Dating is fun and a great opportunity for you to meet people, so don’t shy away from having a full dating schedule.
Provide as many pictures as possible
Post pictures that look like you, are recent and where the person can see your face
If you find someone and end up in a relationship, close your account!
Happy Dating!
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