So, whether you met him online, in a bar, or through a friend there is no avoiding the awkward, stressful, exhilarating event known as “the first date.” As a man who likes to break up his 1-2 year serious relationships with 3-5 years of singlehood and dating, I would like to impart some advice on how to impress the pants off us during a first date. You can take that literally or figuratively, whichever works best for you.
Where to go
First of all, help a brother out when it comes to selecting the first date location. We know you all love a man who makes decisions, and we can, but the last thing we want is to make the wrong one. We need a little input from you. Guys will have a general idea of where to take you, with several options bouncing around in their brains. Do you like Italian food, or Greek? Do you want to start slow with some coffees, or jump right into the fire with some cocktails? Are you a more of a club girl, or a pub girl? Once we get some feedback, we can then make that all-important decision, choosing the best option from one of your preferences. A man appreciates a woman who knows what she wants, and trust me, he wants to give you what you want.
What to Wear
This will of course depend on where you go. You wouldn’t wear heels and a sexy-strapless number to order your Venti Mocha Latte, and conversely you wouldn’t wear jeans, a t-shirt and a ball cap to a swanky restaurant. Don’t get me wrong, we love you in both those things, but we also want you to fit in with your surroundings.
Pick an outfit than can cover a few bases. You never know where a date can take you, especially if it’s going well. Coffee can turn into dinner, dinner can turn into drinks, and drinks can turn into dancing (for men the dancing can only follow drinks, and not the other way around). You want to be wearing something that will make you comfortable in all situations. As a guy I have no idea how you would pull this off, as we can just wear our good pair of shoes, some nice jeans, and a collared, buttoned-down shirt to fit into most scenarios like a chameleon. I guess as long as you don’t wear any outfits too extreme in one direction, either too sexy, or too caj, you’ll be ready for anything.
Also, if you really like a guy, and you want him to notice you, don’t be afraid to show off your assets a little. Again, it doesn’t have to be extreme, we have extremely vivid imaginations, and trust me, we are scanning you and doing our own little math in our heads as to what the value for N is under those clothes. We’re guys, we’re sorry, but that’s what we do. This might sound superficial, but hear me out. You want him to like you for what’s on the inside right? Well, unless you’re already friends, co-workers, or just happen to spend a lot of time together, the first date is not always ideal for him to get to know the real you. You’re both under pressure to create a good first impression, so you’re not always yourselves, and if you’ve shown up in too conservative an outfit, his desire for a second date might not be as strong as it would had you enticed him with some glimpses of that beautiful body of yours. It’s almost embarrassing to admit, almost, but awkward conversation with a little skin will certainly get you further than awkward conversation and zero skin.
What to Say
Want to sound like an intelligent, interesting and fun person to talk to? Simple. Just ask him questions about himself and listen. This sounds tough I know, you want him to know just how awesome you are and how you can play guitar and love to cook and all your favourite songs, books, movies, TV shows, and where you went to school and what your dreams are, and where you’ve travelled to and all that great stuff that makes you who you are. But trust me, every book I’ve ever read on how to deal with people says the same thing: listen! Get him talking about all those things that makes him tick, and you’d be surprised at what you’ll get to hear. Keep asking him questions and you’ll not only learn about his likes and dislikes, but you’ll have created a comfortable environment for him to open up, something most guys secretly want to do despite the myth that we lock everything in the emotional vault and throw away the key. You’ll soon get him talking about his most embarrassing childhood moments, his intimate life dreams, saying things to you like “I’ve never admitted this anyone before” and then telling you how he became eligible for a pardon in Canada.
Once you’ve shown a genuine interest in him, by asking him questions and listening, not only have you taken the stress off yourself to be the witty conversationalist, he’ll walk away from the date feeling great, he’ll think that you’re absolutely fascinating (despite the fact that you let him do all the talking), and he’ll definitely want to know more about you.
So, what have we learned: help him choose the location; don’t over or under-dress, show a little skin; and let him do all the talking. Sounds a little too easy doesn’t it? Well it is. Men are not complicated creatures. If you help us out a little, we won’t think you’re high maintenance and we’ll want to get to know you. If we’re attracted to you, we’ll want to get to know you. If we’re comfortable talking to you, we’ll want to get know you. So in conclusion, don’t be high maintenance, don’t be unattractive, and don’t be uninteresting. You’ll blow him away!
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